"I will never be over it" Perhaps replace it with "I will never cross it" ? Otherwise it seems like a good piece of work :hugs: And welcome back

to borrow a most hated expression from the grease machine that is Maccas

I'm lovin it!

it's great baby and the preview honestly isn't that bad

--
avast

i reckon that's amazing........like, the rhyming is out of whack, yes, but i think if you fixed that up it would be magnificent!

--
_{"You have a lovely smile, are they your teeth?"
.: *melbournites :.}

wow... strange but thats probably one of my favourite poems of yours so far. It's an interesting concept which u havnt explored before ... I think its great when u do something like this to make your poems moreminteresting and different from each other.

The rhymes which u said that you were kinda worried about actually fit quite well with this - it doesnt always need to be absoloutly erfect 'to the tee', the only one which seems kinda out of place to me is:

"I've found a love that's stronger
Than the strongest wind
A love that seems endlessly longer
Than the longest bridge a man opened"

... anyways ... good work ... talk to ya later

--
Whatever happened to Sex, Drugs & Rock'n'Roll?
Now all we have is AIDS, Crack and Tecno.

the lines silent-screamer mentioned above, i kinda agree on, tho i think it just would sound better as "A love that seems longer Than the longest bridge" or some such

other than that, its a damn good poem

--
"The world is in pain
and should be put down
and God is a sadist
and that he knows it"

That's good - I like that.

Thanks sweetie

Thanks dude. I may actually change it sometime... If I get the time.

yeah, I know.. it took me ages to ponder over and I did consider writing it as you said, but I decided that this one made the most sense.
I'm considering re-writing it, so I shall think about your comment.
Thanks